She placed her hands in my hair and gripped tight, keeping her eyes solely on me. It was that moment I knew what was happening. It was something that never happened before in my life. I… Shit, is that what I’m doing?
Yes, it is… I started moving faster as I said it in my mind.
I’m making love for the first time in my life… Fuck.
“If you’re lucky enough to get a second chance, DON’T WASTE IT.” – Unknown Author
Chapter 4 - Ayana
I slowly opened my eyes, disoriented at first ,just trying to figure out where I was, but as soon as I moved and felt the discomfort between my legs, I knew exactly where I was.
Oh shit!
I didn’t mean for this to happen – honest I didn’t. I mean, I tried to stop him. Okay, well, I asked him to stop, and I know it wasn’t too convincing. However, I spoke the words to him. But I knew the moment I saw that look in his eyes, there was no stopping him, and, quite honest, I didn’t want him to.
But now after the dust settled, after the most unbelievable sex of my life, I felt guilty. Brad was engaged just a week or so ago, and now I found myself in his bed, wrapped up in him again.
This can’t be good for me…
As I stared up at the ceiling, I started thinking about all the ways I fucked up and all the ways Lock was going to kill me.
“What’s wrong?”
I turned my head to my left to find a pair of eyes staring back at me. I looked back up at the ceiling, resolved to taking the easy way out.
“Nothing,” I answered.
I felt him move and his face came into view. Looking down on me, he caressed my cheek, brought his finger down and under my chin, and then moved my head back to him.
“I can hear your brain working overtime. Don’t tell me ‘nothing.’”
I sighed and sat up, bringing the sheet with me to cover up. The last thing I want is to tempt him, but, looking in his eyes, I knew it was a little too late for that.
So, I said bluntly, “I feel like shit.”
He frowned. “Why?”
My eyebrows rose in response. “Why? Seriously? Bradley, not a week ago, you were engaged. You were with someone else. And now you’re here with me? This can’t be good. I mean, you were in love …” I moved my eyes from his, not able to take the intensity I saw in them even through the darkness of this room.
Brad was having none of that and tilted my head back to him so my eyes were on his. “First of all, I told you she and I were over for a long time. We haven’t been intimate in months.”
I couldn’t help my shocked reaction and he just nodded. “Yeah, can you believe I went months without sex? It’s unheard of for me, as you know, but that’s what happened. And yes, I did work crazy hours, but when it comes to sex, I’m never that tired. So dispel that notion from your mind. Nora and I haven’t connected like that in a long time. As far as being engaged goes, I told you, we weren’t connecting in that aspect either. We were more roommates than anything else. We saw each other in passing and it wasn’t because both of us had jobs.”
He placed his hand to the side of my face. “You say I was in love… There was only one woman in my life that I’ve ever truly been in love with. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you who that woman was.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes. I smiled. I couldn’t help it. Being with him was something I’ve always wanted, but I messed up before. But damn it, I won’t mess up again. If he’s gives me any kind of chance, I’m going to take it.
Brad pulled me to him, and I kept my eyes closed as I felt his lips brush up against mine. Oh, his lips are so powerful, so amazing. I wanted more.
I let go of the sheet I held to my body and climbed in his lap without breaking the tight lip lock we had going on. Kissing him had always been taboo for me. I mean, I couldn’t just kiss this man without wanting to rip his clothes off him. I had to have him inside me, caressing me from the inside out.
I never felt this way for any man. If I could be completely honest, no man had ever gotten close enough to touch me either. I’d get sick to my stomach if another man touched me or kissed me, and, believe me, I’ve tried to move on. Maybe it’s psychological or maybe, again, I was just plain stupid. However, no one in this world could love me like Brad, and I wouldn’t settle.
Ever since I was thirteen, I felt I was made for only him. I know I shouldn’t be saving myself for a man that had moved on, that had all intentions of giving himself to someone else. Yet, I couldn’t help feeling the way I do.
“Where did you go?” he asked me quietly.
I touched his face, his lips with my fingers. I felt him between my legs and decided that moment I would fight for what I have deemed to be mine; whatever it takes. This is my second chance, and I’m going to take it.